Apology and Forgiveness – As couples, we quarrel and sometimes it takes time for the offended party to forgive and let go. But it is wise and beneficial to ensure that your quarrels do not extend that particular day. You should make up before going to bed. This act helps to strengthen a relationship.
Apology and forgiveness
When a couple has had a fight, some may tend to apologize first even when they are not at fault. It shows that they value their relationship more than ego. Also some couples may have a fight but won’t apologize, probably because they aren’t sure how their spouse may react. But either ways, you should be with someone who can’t be mad at you for long, and you shouldn’t take advantage of that.
How to apologize
Everyone claims to know how to apologize. But what people don’t know is that there are important techniques left out when we apologize. Some apologize because they were forced to, those people do not care if they will be forgiven or not. While the other few who seek forgiveness should make use of the following apology techniques.
1. Apologize for your actions:
When you apologize to someone, you should be sorry for what you did. And this you must focus on, don’t include other things.
2. Do not apologize for a person’s feeling:
Making statements like “I’m sorry you’re hurt or mad” is not an apology, its condescending. Avoid it when making an apology.
3. Do not include an excuse to your apology:
When apologizing, don’t say things like “I’m sorry i was rude, i was really irritated, pissed off, or mad”. It shows you’re not sorry, but you actually feel justified.
4. Ask for forgiveness when you apologize:
Saying am sorry to some people, may not draw a response from them. But saying “am sorry, will you please forgive me” will result in a response from your spouse. He/she may not be settled then, but at least their response will give you hints on what will likely be their response. Asking for forgiveness is a humble request, so when your partner does not forgive you immediately you ask, do not rant or sulk because you’re not owed an apology. You should wait for it.
5. Don’t expect a reciprocal apology:
Your apologizing to your spouse does not mean they should apologize too. Even if two of you did behaved badly, just own up to your own faults and that’s the end. Its left for your partner to decide if to apologize too or not, though apology and forgiveness is important.
6. Attempt repair:
You should try to make things right after the apology. You could get an idea of what to do by asking your spouse if there’s anything you could do to make things right. Your relationship should not lack apology and forgiveness.
Apology and forgiveness does not take any special deed. You should forgive your spouse wholeheartedly and not bear grudge. Also never bring up past issues of misdeeds when quarreling. You should also apologize for whatever you did too and attempt repair. Do not make your partner go through hell before accepting their apology.
Be sure to settle your disputes before the end of the day. Make it a habit, but try to quarrel less. Apology and forgiveness keeps a relationship strong.