Marriage counseling isn’t a bad advice at all. But what makes it a bad advice is going for a counselor without the kind of home you want. For instance, some counselors are divorced, others unmarried, while some of their marriages are not exemplary. You should make a good choice of a counselor before going there.
Signs that shows you need marriage counseling
1. When you’re not talking:
As married couples, you should talk to each other. You could discuss issues, share ideas and talk about random things, but when this important aspect is left out then there is a problem. Communication is the soul of every relationship.
2. Talking turns out to be negative:
Whenever you talk, even if you do not share the same idea or you do not agree to a particular thing, its fine. Peoples opinions can differ. But when you find it hard to accept a different idea and quarrels, insults and more negative traits pop-up then you need to talk to a counselor.
3. When you’re afraid to talk:
When you’re afraid to talk for fear of negative reactions or neglect, its a red sign. And the earlier you go for marriage counseling, the better for you.
4. When intimacy and affection are withheld as punishment:
When either you or your partner sees intimacy and affection as a tool for punishment its wrong. Do not starve your spouse sexually as this could cause serious damages in the course of time.
5. When you see your spouse as a rival:
A married couple is supposed to work as a team, especially towards outside factors. But if you start seeing your spouse as an opponent, then marriage counseling is coming in handy here.
6. Keeping secrets:
People who are dating are advised not to keep secrets from each other, talk more of couples who are married. Keeping secrets can cause damages that may cause a lifetime damage or cause distrust.
7. When you consider having an affair or you’re having one:
When you start considering infidelity or you’re into it, then its bad news. Couples are supposed to be faithful to each other. But when fidelity is ignored, crisis could occur. To avoid such, go for marriage counseling.
8. When you become financially unfaithful:
The moment you start lying about finances, then something is wrong and needs to be corrected. You should not lie about your income either by decreasing or increasing it. This is very wrong. If your spouse should find out about it, they may never trust you again.9
9. When you’re expecting your partner to change:
If you want your relationship to be good, then you shouldn’t bother to change your partner, instead the change should come from you. You should accept their flaws and imperfections as no one is perfect not even you.
If you change some certain things about you, your partner may change too, but this time you didn’t force it on them. So the change will be genuine and from their heart, making you more happy.
10. Living separate lives:
You and your spouse live under the same roof as married couples and yet live like room mates, this is dangerous. Even though you might have some different interests, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t carry each other along. It would also do you both good if become interested with your spouse’s hobbies, its good for bonding and can pave way for adventure.
11. When there’s a seeming uncontrollable issue:
Some issues are bound to bring in quarrels, but when things are getting out of hand seek the services of a marriage counselor. You should not let issues escalate, lest your marriage suffers.
12. When intimacy level drops so badly:
Intimacy in long term relationships can drop a little after a while. But when its extremely low you should check whats wrong as this could mean many negative things.
13. When little things make you angry and you argue:
As lovers, you should be tolerant of each other especially towards irrelevant things. But when you become less tolerant, patient and more irritated you should talk things out with your spouse and seek counsel.
14. Not feeling comfortable:
When you start feeling uncomfortable or start doubting your love for your partner you should seek help and sort things out.
Marriage is a wonderful thing, make yours enviable.